Becoming what we are today took practice, determination, and conviction, and we have been shaped by those who succeeded before us.
For example, if I were a doctor, I would have had to put in effort and hours of study. I would have had to have passion and to have decided that it would be nice to become a doctor to help people. I would probably have liked what my doctor did for me, and perhaps I imagined I would earn a lot. or be important.
And if I want to lose weight? I’m not exciting my subconscious because I’m not anticipating the advantages I’ll derive as I did for other goals I’ve achieved!
Who should I model if I want to lose weight? Who’s already at the right weight? Who’s one of those people who stay in shape without a diet and without starving, who move for pleasure, who eat more on occasion but without guilt, who do nothing else to return to their weight, who listen to their bodies?
What do people of a healthy weight do to say no to the second portion of ice cream? What do they do when they’re full, when they stop eating? What do they think about their physical form? And what would happen if you did the same?
If the area in which you’re not satisfied is your physical form, there’s a distance between your plan and the current reality. You won’t be happy in this area if the plan doesn’t match your reality. So, you’re not happy, not because you don’t reach the goal, but because the ideal plan isn’t realistic!
The solutions you face are different: either blame someone for not being successful, or change something to get to the goal or change the plan!
A client of mine was always unhappy. Even though she apparently had everything she needed—money, a husband, and a good group of friends—she couldn’t have children. She started to do something to reach her goal of having children by applying to adopt a child. Yet she was still unhappy anyway.
Seeing her still unhappy during the adoption procedure, I asked her how she was, and she told me that she wanted to give birth to her children. When I asked her what difference that would make, she replied that she would love her adopted children, but then they would abandon her, while her biological children would never abandon her.
Of course, this lady had built a strong belief that unconditional love could only be achieved one way. Just by saying what she believed, she realized after a few days that sometimes not achieving a goal can be an opportunity to accomplish much more.
This story shows that even in extreme situations, plans can be changed and that above all, your road to a simple goal like loving yourself is absolutely achievable by doing something different from what you’ve done so far!
Rossella Tocco is an iNLP Center Neuro-linguistic Programming Master, Life Coach, Trainer and iNLP Center Italy Director. She has trained hundreds of people to lose weight without dieting, starting on the inside. Rossella has been sharing this method in Italy since 2015 with super successful results. Hundreds of people have lost excess weight and freed themselves of the “non-constructive” behaviors that they once connected with food.